Her...

It's been a good ride
It's been a lot of fun
Now I have tears filling my eyes
At the thought that we may be done
Sweet kisses on my lips
Close cuddles with you
Dancing with your hands on my hips
And a million moments of laughter too...

But I can't give you my heart
If you won't give your heart to me
To fall in love with a man
When that man doesn't love me
Yeah, that's just crazy...

I don't want to be a fool
And I don't want to go insane
But you made me fall for you
And yet things may never be the same
Because all I can think about now is her
And knowing that's where you'd rather be
But she must be some incredible girl
For you to overlook me...

And I wanted you to have my heart
And yet you keep your heart from me
I've fallen so hard for you
And you don't even love me
All of it is just saddening...

Every part of me wants to try
Try to move on from this
But I know my soul would internally cry
With every gentle kiss
Because I'll never know if it's me you're thinking of
Or the girl from your past
And I'll always doubt that I'm earning your love
Or if the moment of the present will be our last...

And it's so hard because you have my heart
But you never gave your heart to me
Because as I was falling for you
You never loved me
Now what was such a beautiful beginning
Is becoming my most painful ending...

So Into You...

I'm so into you
You have no idea
The things that keep running through
My pretty little head sitting here
Got me dreaming again
Never thought I'd live again
Couldn't even imagine myself winning
Until the night I saw you...

I tell you that you're the best
You laugh, but I mean every word
The way you look at me
Doesn't make my day, it's making my world

Your smile completely brightens my day
And your laugh is so contagious
My face blushes with every word you say
This explosive feeling is outrageous

You constantly make me feel beautiful
And never put a doubt in my mind
You boost my confidence and make my life so full
Even encourage me and my grind

But your gentle kisses on my skin
Flutter butterflies like I'm sixteen again
Who knew kisses could be so intense?
And I never want them to end!

I can go on and on about how you make me happy
And all of the amazing things you do
It's all of these things that make you amazing
And why I'm so into you...

I'm so into you
Maybe you have a little bit of a clue
Because I run through your mind too
As I'm sitting here
Daydreaming about you again
So ecstatic that I'm alive again
Can't imagine anything other than winning
Now that I know you...

Insecure Heart Rush...

What can he possibly see in me?

He says I'm so beautiful

But I feel so ugly

He clearly doesn't see what I see

This has to be but only a dream

Because I've been hurt before

Tarnished and burned

I said the last lesson of love

Was enough lessons learned

Because I keep ending up on the wrong side of the tracks

It was charming looking forward

But deception looking back

I'm mean and can be rude

He says those are lies

Says I'm witty and funny

Baby, that's just a disguise

To hide all of my insecurities

Not for a second can I lie

I fell madly in love with a man

And when we married, our love died

But when I look at you

I'm ready to fall

But I'm so scared that you'll hurt me

And we'll be nothing at all

Is this the curse and the lie

The enemy wants me to believe?

That I' such damaged goods

So much nobody will love me?

It's foolishness, I know

To believe it all

But it doesn't cease the nervousness

When I feel my heart fall

There's nothing more that I want

Than to be wrapped up in your arms

Fall asleep to your heartbeat

And never sound the alarm...

The Unraveling

You were so original
Yet so common
And I was caught off guard
You had perfect timing
But I've been trying to figure you out
Since the moment you opened your mouth
Really, who are you?
Because I'm starting to have my doubts
You're looking like everything but what you claimed
Everything but what you claimed to be
And maybe I would understand
If you weren't becoming those things to me
Words hurt, you know?
Especially when they're not filled with truth
It's like claiming you're a fruit tree
And yet, you bare no fruit
I just have to know why
Why you chose to even look my way
Why you even invited me to into your life
Why you chose those words to say
Man, I thought our friendship meant something
Truth is, it meant the world to me
But now I can't look at your face without sulking
And more each day, you become nothing to me
But the glory here is it's your life
It's not mine
And it's completely your prerogative
To keep going on, living a lie
But please take heed
Everything you reap is due to what you sow
And at the rate you're going
Nothing in your life will grow
Well, with the exception of your loneliness
And your sorrow
When you look back over your life
Maybe then, you'll know...

Dear Future...

Dear Future,

I know you're right around the corner
But I just can't wait to tell you how I feel
I know you're the one that I've been waiting for
Just haven't yet appeared to capture my heart to steal
I do know that you're the one I've been praying for
And I don't mean for my own selfish needs
But I've been praying for so much more
Trust me, the magnitude you wouldn't believe
Constantly praying for your pure heart
Praying for your commitment to a marriage's infinity
So that our souls will never have the desire to part
And that you will forever have eyes for only me
Praying for your persistency
And that you'll pursue me all on your own
And that your strength is easily proven with consistency
That we have in common long walks, laughs and talking on the phone
Constantly praying for my strength too
Praying for my strong will to be submissive
And that I can be the most supportive person to you
And learn to not allow my attitude to be dismissive
You have no idea how much I love you already
I had in my mind what I would never do
But I'd readily carry and birth your baby
Because you'll be my equal and I'd do anything for you
You'll never hurt me like I've been hurt before
All of those bad memories will be long forgotten
I can't wait to see, for us, what God has in store
You'll already and finally be a dream...when we happen...

Love,

Your Future

Freestyle Hurt...

I was fooled by you
Yes, I played the fool
To think that you could play by the rules
And that everything that you said to me was truth
Now I'm looking back like
Who the hell are you?
That's not what you were supposed to do
I thought you loved me too

Ha! But that's probably what I get
Nothing that we had was legit
I can't even believe anything that you've said
But after all of the things that I did
This is how you thank me?
Maybe you really ain't shit
And no matter how much I love you
This moment right here I won't forget

Man, I thought you were my friend
Or was it all just for pretend?
I can't go down this road again
After all of the time we've spent
I opened up myself to you
Thought my heart was on the mend
Only for you to beat it up with a wrench
And I'm left bleeding in the end

Damn I have some choice words
But I don't even know if they are of your worth
Remember you invited me on your turf
That shit is for the birds
Because you set me up
How you gonna treat me like dirt
Off of my back, I'd give you my shirt
I only hope you experience this hurt

But you're going to look up one day
And you're going to wonder why you did me that way
When you're all alone and don't have the words to say
Not even have my head on your chest to lay
Because I'll be long gone
I hope you feel that soon one day
You'll realize how good I was to you
And know that nothing will ever be the same...

**You can give somebody the world, but if they don't choose to reciprocate those feelings, the truth is, you're still in it alone...  Don't sit around and be the fool for somebody that is not willing to be to you what you are to them...**

Nothing More...

The day we met
I knew there was something special about you
And I promise my heart has tried to avoid the danger
I've seriously thought it through and through
But we've developed this bond
That's just not easily broken
When you look at me and smile
I can read the words in your head, unspoken
And maybe they should remain that way
Some things are better left unsaid
Maybe some things we just shouldn't say
And lead it to the imagination instead
But I'm so tired of dreaming
I just want to be your everything
To have your golden brown skin forever by my side
Would simply be amazing
But maybe I'm just fooling myself
A part of my heart knows we'll never be
Your life is just way too complicated
Too hard to just leave it behind and come to me
I realize that there are just some things that I can't ask you to do
But you've stolen a part of my heart
And I can't fathom separating myself
And being apart
Maybe this is all a fantasy
I just refuse to beg these things of you
I'll always love you my friend
Even though at the end, I know I won't be who you choose
You've brought me so much joy
And have put so much excitement back into my life
And we will forever be just friends
Because anything more would be a crime
I'm in love with living on the dangerous side of you
So much that my hearts gets sore
And even though I love you beyond words
We will never be anything more...