You Are Me... And I Am You...

This life, so precious
This life, so fragile
Father, for You I'm so gracious
For creating me in the image of your child

     Thank you for this beautiful heart
     Which earnestly beats for You
     As my flesh desires this worldly love
     My soul constantly longs for You
     Because out of all of the love in the world
     I have discovered Your love as truth.

     Thank you for the air that I breathe
     There's nothing like the fresh breeze upon my face
     Although we pollute and spoil this gift
     You forgivingly extend to us grace
     Knowing this will never be my home
     I'm so thankful for the experiences of this temporary place.

     Thank you for the blood
     Which so richly paid for my ridiculous sin
     Thank Jesus it runs through my veins
     It freely flows now, just like it did then
     My Savior's suffering breaks my heart's content
     But I celebrate in the joy of knowing my faults are now forgiven.

     So Im thankful that I have experienced my flesh
     It's wretched acts have awakened You inside of me
     The sin of my spirit, mind and body may spread wide
     Yet I know that You are forever with me
     Being bound forever with You is the greatest treat
     And from You I will never flee.

     Thank you, Father, that You saved me
     From total disgrace and damnation
     To confess that you are my eternal Savior
     Through your son, Jesus, who came to save the nations
     You are my every word, thought, tear and emotion
     And I can't wait to be with You for eternity, from the resurrection.

Goodbye...

I've found myself lost
I've found myself lost in you
In trying to find myself
Somehow, I found you
And so, I never really found me
Because I was so concerned about you
So, I'm lost all over again
And to mine own self, not being true
It's a hard place not feeling you know
Just quite who you are inside
Yet knowing that's where the spirit resides
It's just the thought that knowing you have lots to give
And yet you can't because you've barely lived
You ask and ask and ask more of me
And I'll be the first to deliver to you the best
but having this feeling my love won't be reciprocated
And so my soul just can't rest

Just where did you come from?
Why did you choose to come and wreck my life?
Because before you entered it
I was doing just fine... I was doing just fine!
My life wasn't perfect at all
But I know exactly what I had and was content
And now you pull on my heart strings until I fall
But I just can no longer live with it
My heart is in pieces to even mumble the words
That with everything I've learned to love you so much
But I have to be the first
To say that my mind, my body nor my spirit can love you as such
You're no good for me
And the truth is, you've never been
But I know if I don't walk away now
Now, will never come again...
       So, I'm turning and walking away somehow
       Goodbye my love, my heart and my heartbreak...

Love Bug...

I used to love you

I used to love you, it's true

Everything about you

I've not even found in a few

The way you loved how I looked at you

Loving the way you said, "April" like a tune

Or the way you kept your promises

When you said you'd be here soon

Nobody else has a single clue

How to love me the way you do...

It's classic, because we're not together anymore

But only if there was an open door

I'd know what we'd both be running for

I know there was so much more in store

When we let everything drop to the floor

Our love just drowned

Even though we were just standing on the shore

Can't we just reopen the door?

Because I know one thing is for sure

I love you still to the core...

And I know you still love me

Not only because you still tell me

But i know you're thinking about me when you randomly tag me

We both had our opportunities to flee

But there's something about this love, we can't leave

Things are complicated, but not as complicated as they seem

Even if we can't do this again

I just wanna spend this moment to dream

Imagining us both on the same team

Being back in your arms is where I wanna be...

What can a girl do?

I've only fell in love with a few

But if I have to tell the truth

You're the only one that over and over I'd choose

Just the other day, you said I'd be the one to marry you

And you know how much I'd want to

But is it just too late for us two?

As much as I wanna hang on to what we had

Letting you go might be what I have to do 

Just know when I said I loved you, I was truly in love with you...

Love, 

Your Love Bug

So what!

So what if he left!
So what if he once cared!
So what if he provided it all!
If his heart and his body
Was sinfully shared.

So what if he was once so gentle!
So what if the past memories were the best!
So what if it was all so perfect back then!
If he's really not in it anymore
And you keep losing rest.

Baby you're beautiful!
And you better know that's true
His once every other night mistakes
Don't define you!
You've put up with so much
And I know right now it hurts like hell
But you can't keep torturing yourself
While your heart spends eternity in jail
You're so much better than that
Better than the constant slaps in the face
It's time to give up that toxic relationship
And walk into life with complete grace.

Just think about all of the pain and hurt
Everything that you've been through
He was a coward for how he treated you
Baby girl, aren't you through?!
For the times that he pushed you in the corner
For the time he clipped you on your nose
Or the time he put you out of the house
And your toes were frozen cold...
For every time he gave another 'the eye'
And then acted upon it with his hand on her bosom
Honey, don't be fooled by his kindness now
Here, there's no confusion.

But let's forget about him for a minute
Let's pretend he doesn't even exist
Without him would you not feel freedom
Instead of those marks on your wrists?
Baby, who are you?
Really, who are you on the inside?
A girl who sits in a puddle of guilt
Or a woman who walks with pride?
Yes, the road ahead is going to be hard
There's a solid rocky road ahead
But each and every day gets a little easier
Once you dismiss all that he's put in your head.

For once you have to put yourself first
Give your soul what it craves and wants
People will say what they want, but as long as you're safe
So what!

To Know You.

I don't even know you
But I feel like I've known you my whole life
Your very being intrigues me
Your mere breathing simply defines
Everything I've ever wanted
Your soul, so pure and clean
A heart of gold that's filled with insight
Why've you waited so long to come here
And breakthrough my world just right?
The blooming sunflower in my frozen forest
There used to be pure darkness
But the tunnel is becoming so much clearer
There's a light shining over me
As you take leaps and bounds to come nearer
And I'm beginning to feel found again...

It feels so good and has me questioning...
Like, where have you been all my life?
Like when I was experiencing so much strife?
Why did I have to go through so much pain back then?
Just to experience your greatness?
Why do you see exactly what I see in myself?
Beauty, gorgeousness, intelligence, strength and health?
How did you quickly go from a distant stranger?
To being my hero and soldier?
I mean, is this all so very real?
Or is it just another trick to see how long it will take me to heal?
On a positive note, you're so perfect and how can that be?
And out of all of my beautiful sisters, why did you choose me?

I'm sure to every question, you have an answer...
And there's so much for us to discover
I'm anticipating every moment to be in your presence
And sit on the edge of my seat to listen to every single word.

You've Changed

You changed on me quickly
Moved on from me swiftly
Just days ago inseparable
And suddenly you quit me
I never thought you'd hurt me
I swear I feel dirty
You tricked me into falling for you
Only to desert me
Even though you're still around
It's so hard for me now
To look at you the same
I try to smile, but inside I frown
Because everything was so good
From where we both stood
One day just changed everything
And I never thought it could
You were all about me
Everything you did made me happy
Wanting to see me everyday
And doing everything to please me
But now something just ain't right
Your communication isn't tight
We laid for hours effortlessly together
And now I lose sleep at night
Things just seem so strange
Scattered like loose change
You're just so different now
Man, why did you have to change?

Greatest Love of Mine...

Life is too short
Not to have it all
But sometimes it's a simple solution
Stop asking too small:

If I could have it all
To me, it would be a simple plan
Nothing too extravagant
Just simply wrapped up in a man.
He doesn't have to be Denzel
But his complexion and a nice smile wouldn't hurt
All of the following I wouldn't have to tell
Because he would shower me by knowing my worth.
Present me with sunflowers on a rainy day
Have the candles lit in the bathroom when I get home
Remind me how much he adores me are some things he'd say
And always make sure I never feel alone.
He'd always hold my hand tight in public
And give me gentle kisses on my forehead in private
Make me feel like the most important person to him would do it
Yeah, that would always do the trick.
He'd strive hard to deliver me the world
And maybe a couple of babies along the way
Maybe not always diamonds and pearls
But sacrifice eight hours of work, just so we could have a day.
He'd know exactly what to do to help me relax
Treat me like his one and only queen
He'd know how to gently set me straight when I don't have all of the facts
And I'd submissively listen because he's my king.
He'd continue to date me, even when we're old and gray
And would forever treat me as his most prized possession
And we'd have all amazing days
Until the day one of us are called to heaven.

But even on that painful day, one thing would remain true
We would've experienced the greatest love of all time
Our hearts and our souls would be at capacity, in how we grew
From him being the best and the greatest love of mine...