I Wish I Didn't

I think so much of you
You run through my mind day and night
But I can't be in love with you like I want
Because something just isn't right
But your smile can light up a room
And can easily make my day
And I want to run and tell you everything
But yet, I don't have the words to say
You're so brilliant
That I want to pick your mind
I want to know everything that you're thinking
But I can't, knowing that you could never be mine

How did we even end up here?
Am I making a huge life mistake?
I'd trust you with my life
Knowing that at any moment you could bring me heartache
But when I'm with you, I'm mesmerized
Hanging on to every single word you say
My heart says yes
Knowing that nothing will really change the days after today
But there's something about you, something special
That keeps drawing me nearer
Although my heart breaks
Every single time your reality is made clear

I feel myself playing with fire
When I much prefer the cold
But you get me every single time
When I reach out to you and you pull my body close to hold
But you have everything you want
And in the end, I'll be left all alone
One day, I'll dial your number to call
And get no answer on the other end of the phone
I don't want to lose myself in you
But I find my mood dependent on you like a crutch
I really don't know how we ended up here
But I wish I didn't love you so much...