A Day In Your Shoes

What if I lied to you for years
And wasn't even moved by your tears
Committed myself to contributing to your fears
And played these games for years
These are the questions I ask myself as I steer
In a completely different direction from here
Let's switch roles so you can imagine how I feel...

What if ten years ago, after we were wed
I took back the promises that I stood there and said
Proclaimed I'd rather keep dirty secrets from you
Than to make love in our bed
And it all started six short months after
Those beautiful vows we read

What if I walked in the house late every night of the week
Would sleep on the couch so I wouldn't have to speak
What if I was that cold to you
After you promised everything to me
You stayed committed and faithful
And I began to creep

What if I constantly gave my number out
And men began calling me, filling your head with doubt
That you were the only man for me
Damn, what's that all about?
I left you at home, making you feel useless
While I took the darker route

What if I dabbled with things I had no business in
I smoked something crazy and began to ruin
My brain; I was paranoid and acting stupid
Acting out so much that I was sent to the loony bin
What if I had followed through with killing myself
And left you alone with the kids...what then?

And even after that you took me back
Gave me another chance to get on track
Why did you do that for me?
Should have been the question you asked
But I just couldn't stay away
I went right back like I had an addiction to crack

What if I had a secret so big...the worst that could hurt you
Not only did I cheat, I'm having a baby with him too
Please don't leave me, I know I didn't tell you til now
Because I just didn't know what to do
Now he wants to be in my life
But baby I only want you

And you let me back in
And just when we seem like we're beginning to win
We begin to fall apart
Because I can't keep up my end
You work so hard and smile
Even though I'm headed back again

What if I completely lose it one night
And we get into this huge fight
And without even thinking, I knock you in the face
Deep down I knew it wasn't right
So I leave for the night
Hoping it'll leave your mind if I'm out of sight

And I continue to lie, cheat and smoke
Maybe sell a little dope
Knowing that I shouldn't
But it's the only thing I know
You're thinking not keeping a job is for losers
While I think keeping a job is a joke

Even after all those times you took me back, I can't cope anymore
So I demand for you to leave and get the hell out my door
It's midnight but I don't care, take the kids with you
You promise when you leave, there will be chances no more
So I spend my life doing nothing with myself
I just don't care anymore

Hypothetically, if I were you, I'd drown myself in beer
For destroying all of the things you once held dear
I was searching for nothing and found nothing still
No matter what I've done, you've bounced back into gear
Just kept moving forward
With no ounce of fear

But in reality, since I'm me, I hate what you've become
You're filthier than the bottom of my shoe, with dried up gum
I'll always care for you, however, for who you once were
Not this careless bum
And after all of this crap I've been through with you
I'm excited and ready to serve you papers, I'm finally done.