Unsure

Just what are we doing?
Are we about to ruin
Everything we once were?
Because we chose this decision?
And I'm still not sure what we're choosing
We're not together
But we're using
Each other for some pleasure
In things we probably should not be doing
But we fall every single time
Because our flesh keeps on refusing
To live the way we ought
Don't get me wrong, I'm not excusing
What I've done, but I'm distraught
Because this is not what my Daddy taught
And yet, I'm ruining my days
And at the same time, you got me in a daze
Because I dream and think of you
It feels like more than just a phase
You have your hook in my spine
And I let this happen, I'm so amazed
You see, I fell for you hard
In love, like a little girl in a leotard
I'm so far gone
I didn't even realize you left me in the yard
By myself, that felt so lonely
Because I let down my guard
And now everything I thought was free
I now know was charged
To me and my feelings
I tried so hard to keep it real and
I failed miserably
Because now I'm drowning in the deep end
And I can't tell if you're seeing
Me dying while I'm peeping
At you ignoring me as you're leaving
That's really the only reason
I only love for a season
And it hurts to know I'm faking
And holding these feelings in, I'm shaking
Because I want to express what's aching
When we lay down together
And I convince myself it's lovemaking
But in reality, I love
And yet I'm not sure if you're just taking
What I throw at you and give
This isn't how we're supposed to live...
I would give you my all
If I just knew you would fall
On one knee
And plea to me
To be your everything and all
But it feels like a far-fetched dream
I look at you; you look at me
And I know that we could be
But you'll never ask me...
What is a girl to do?
I'm damaged inside
I fell in love again
And it cost me my pride
Why did I even try?
I felt this way before
It hurt like hell the first time
But still, I reopened the door
And everyday still, I want more
I have to stop myself now
Before I rob myself blind
I have to end this with you now
I know that it's time...
But I just can't...