Broken Heart

In the late night hours
On a warm rainy day
When I've had a rough day
And I just need a laugh
When my brain is overwhelmed
And when my heart aches
When I just want to lay in the bed
I think about why you didn't stay

On the days that I smile
When my day is going perfectly
When nothing else matters
I see your face
When I'm on my run
Or when I take a picture
Every time I get ready to send a text
I think about why you didn't stay

Why did I have to fall for you?
Why did you choose to invade my life?
You have me looking like a fool
And crying out why

Why did I ever look into those eyes?
Why did we have this amazing spark?
I fell for all of those lies
And now I'm left with a broken heart...

When I'm surfing the internet
When I'm eating my food
When I'm drinking my beer
I still see you
When I think about going camping
When I take a ride to the lake
I suddenly begin to smile
And then my heart breaks

Because I fell for you
And I let you come into my life
Now you have me looking like a fool
And crying out why

I just had to gaze into those eyes
And we had this incredible spark
I fell for every single lie
And now I'm left here with a broken heart...

Trying to move forward has been so hard
Because you're always on my mind
Just when I think I've moved on
I rewind the hands of time
I've never missed somebody so much
I've never before fallen so hard
This feeling is incredibly insane
You completely stole my heart

Now, I feel nothing but pain
Because of all of the lies I told myself
Like you'd be around forever, even through the rain
And I could finally take my heart off the shelf
But it never works out
Love never works out for me
I wish you would've stayed longer, I wish you would've stuck around
But like the others, all you did was leave

Oh why did I fall for you?
And let you come into my life
I'm feeling like a fool
And crying out why

But when I gazed into those eyes
We had this everlasting spark
And I fell for all of the those lies
And now I'm left alone, with a broken heart...

Feelings In The Storm

Man I thought having you an hour away was hard
But this week has been hardest of all
Sporadic texts and calls
Just frustrate me...and then the tears begin to fall
And as much as I want to reach out, I stall
Because I love you but I'm mad at you for nothing at all
And so I just withdraw
Just so you don't hear me bawl

Everything was going just right
Nobody else distracted my sight
You were nothing less than my protective knight
And I was feeling as high as a kite
Now everything's falling apart, nothing is tight
My heart is falling like a crashing flight
And my despair has me ready to fight
Because I'm just left of the memories of our loving nights

But you've decided to shut down on me
And I know that's how you deal with things
But I'm feeling like a millionaire among thieves
But I'm human too and I have feelings and needs
I just wish you would believe
That I would never hurt you or choose to deceive
The intimacy we've built so steep
What else do I have to do for you to trust me?

Up until this point, you've been amazing
The first person who has sent my heart racing
Baby, no matter what you're facing
I want to be the one supporting you in the ring
Can't you see this isn't just some fling?
I hate having the thought that you're somewhere struggling
Because it's got me at home worrying
And all I want to be is near you, loving...

Anyway, I just want you to realize and see
That you don't have to be alone in this thing
I'm not the kind that gets scared and flees
But I love even harder when the shit is cloudy
I hate feeling the way I've felt this week
And my stomach and heart have been so weak
Really all I wish to seek
Is my KGM back here with me...

Your Pain is My Pain

It's crazy how things change
Your life is rearranged
At the blink of an eye
With no explanation as to why
Stuff just turned upside down
And suddenly nobody seems around
Everything just seems so jacked up
And all that is left is a memory of what was once us...

Dame all of this crap!
Damn feeling like you're trapped!
Forget what feels like a scary dream
As we take a minute just to scream
Ahhhhh!!!!  Whyyyyy!!!! Why now!!!?
I was doing good, but still ended up here somehow
Can't I just live in peace?
Without dealing with this baggage following me?...

I'm done with my head hanging low
I'm done with this depression trying to grow
I'm giving it all to you, Father
Because You are the Finisher and the Starter
My heart is pained and my mind is blown
And I've realized I an't do this alone
God, you have to take over for this guy
So that we can truly experience this life...

Romans 8: 1-2  1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not work according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.  2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.

The Leaving Possibility

Was this too good to be true?
I was hoping for forever
Now the thoughts that you might move
Have my heart so unsure.
Man, the tears are running down my face
Because I can't imagine what it will be like
Not having you in the same place
And living on the other side.

You are so perfect
Why do you have to be so perfect for me?
I'm so thankful that we met
And I want the best for you, but couldn't stand to see you leave.
Deep down I want you to choose me
But on the surface, I know what you need to do
But if I had to make a plea
I'd beg you to choose me too!

I can't stand this feeling inside
My heart is in so much pain
Why can't we just have more time?
I'd do anything to make sure our love is sustained.
I'm in such agony, can't you tell from the look on my face
Because I don't want to know what it's like
Not having you an hour from my place
And possibly not having you in my life.

Baby...please..don't go!
Because I really don't want to know
What it would be like for our love not to grow.

Phases of Not Loving Me

I loved you
And then I loved you
I gave you my love back
And then you turned your back
I never thought it would hurt like this
I never thought I would care
It seems I keep loving the wrong people
Oh God, it just doesn't seem fair
Man I wish I could turn back the hands of time
And correct what seems so wrong
I would've avoided the day I met you
Which led me to this song...

Now I have these tears of fire
Burning lines down my face
God knows I'm so tired
Of loving people in phases
I've dated the cheater
Married the addict
Had run ins with a beater
And my heart is still in it to win it
I would love to turn back the hands of time
And erase all the men who were wrong
Then maybe I would've avoided you
Who's got me singing this song...

Then there was that bright sunny day
When I saw you for the first time
For the first time I had no words to say
I just knew one day you'd be mine
And I gave you my heart on a silver plate
Just like every other bad memory
And you stole my heart and had your cake
Damn, how could you do that to me?
If I could rush back the hands of time
I maybe would've seen it all along
That nothing was different about you
And maybe I would've avoided singing this song...

Trust Fall

I loved good once
At least I thought I was living
I thought I was in love
Until I noticed his heart was disappearing
I invested my life
And got nothing in return
Now I just don't trust anyone
So I don't have to worry about getting burned
Some say that's playing it safe
But I'd rather spend my nights balling
Than to take a chance on trusting again
Just to end up falling

But I met a man
At first I wasn't sure if he was my type
But the more we conversed
The more things about him I began to like
I can be myself around him
I can truly just be me
It's a joy I can barely describe
With him I just feel free
We can laugh together
I can share my successes and dreams
And every time he calls
My smile just widens and beams

I love so many things about him
There're so many to describe
Like the way he gives great hugs
And the way I catch him staring at me with those eyes
The way we laugh together
Making me feel like we've known each other forever
And the way he can respond so quickly
When I give a smart remark that I thought was clever
The way his amazing voice sings to me
Or when I'm with him, how he makes me feel protected
Complimenting me, grabbing my hand
Those things that would never make me feel rejected

He's just an amazing man
I don't even remember what it was like before
But I continue to struggle internally
Despite all of these things about him I adore
It's the infinite struggle within
That brings pain to my heart
Because I just want to love again
But opening myself up to trust again is hard
Is it worth stepping out on a limb?
Is it worth trying to give him my all?
Not knowing if it will work out
That's the trust fall...

It's Complicated...Or Is It?

It's complicated
Or is it?
You tell me now
Because I don't know how to take it
Man, I once loved you to death
But now death is what's got us apart
My love is suddenly dead
For the man that once had my heart
I guess you never know what you've got til it's gone
I should've realized that when
I was the most true to you
And all you kept doing was doing me wrong
I'm not upset, although I was hit by a train
Felt like I was dying inside
All I desired to do was love you
And all you did was crush me with a crane
But I'm not bitter, I'm glad I went through the heat
It was hard, but I came out on top
The tragedy you put me through
Truly helped me to discover me
I've never felt so free
I've never felt so liberated
Clearly, our marriage
Was 100% overrated
No dis intended
I just know who I was meant to be
And loving myself first
Is definitely the key
So when I think of our life together
And all of the time I wasted
I think it's just complicated
But...really is it?