The Battle

Why this battle?
Why right now?
I want to fight it
But I just don't know how
My body is weak
My heart is worn
I'm just so tired
What am I fighting for?
It happened so quickly
It came out of nowhere
I call on Your name
But You don't seem to be there
My heart just sank
When the doctor gave me the news
I prayed and I prayed
That this wasn't really true
But I couldn't fight fate
Or that lump in my breast
In that instant, it felt like a bullet
Spearing through my chest
I did everything right
At least, it seemed
Ate right, exercised, smoke free
I was living the dream
I was on top of my game
I was on top of the world
But this battle right here
Has turned me into a helpless little girl
I'm so outraged!
I just want to scream!
I can't win this fight
I just don't have it in me
Chemo, radiation
I can't deal with the pain
Who cares if I lose this life?
When, another life I'll gain
I'm sitting in this dark room
Making my choice
Been praying for hours
And then I hear His voice...
He said, "What are you doing?
Don't you trust me?
Did I not give you this life?
Am I not He?
I would not put more on you
Than you could ever bare
So stop sobbing like that
And get up from there.
Believe in yourself
And believe in me
And believe I have given you
All the strength you need.
And if you end up with me in heaven
The battle is not in vain
Did I not endure pain too?
Just for your name?
I died on the cross
Just so you could live to fight
Fight through anything and keep me first
And you will be alright
So go be an inspiration
And proclaim my name
And know sooner or later
We will see each other again."
And just like that He was gone
And I was left feeling brave
Before I was down on my luck
But I knew now how to behave
Months later, it got worse
And my body couldn't bare
The pain in my breast
From the cancer that was there
Weeks later, I lost that battle
But I had no fear
Because those painful four months
My Jesus was near
And I'm eternally with Him
So don't cry for me
I'm enjoying my new life
So be happy for me
Remember, you may lose the battle
But you can win the war
If you proclaim His name
And know what you're fighting for.