Lust's Burn

What ever happened to us?
We were so full of lust
Just beginning to trust
Again, yes again
For you, I had a crush
For a second, it felt like love
But we were foolish to rush
Into something that was more than enough

But at the wrong time
I miss your touch
Your hands caressing my face
Putting my mind into another place
This was always the case
My heart racing at an uncontrollable pace
Toxic, but I would chase
Something that was so out of place
For my character was one of grace
Not lustful and sex crazed

Damn those lips though
Take me to places I need not go
In your arms things seemed under control
But everything felt so wrong in my soul
I knew my answer should have been no
But you kissed me once and my heart turned to gold
Maybe it was tarnished, because I couldn't hold
The pain that came to my heart from lust's scold
Everything felt so good
Except the death that came to me when I said yes, knowing I should have said no.

'Love'ly Future...

I'm experiencing feelings I never felt before
I want you so badly, my heart is sore
I want to spend every moment with you, of course
And even after forever, I want more.
You're the best I ever had
And yet the one I never had
But I've never wanted someone so bad
It fills my heart with joy, and yet I'm so sad
Because nothing is yet official
Although I stay prayed up and wishful
It's clear as a crystal
That we can be something special.
Because the way your eyes glare at me
Tell me that you'll always be there for me
Even if I dared to leave
You wouldn't give up on me.
You'd treat me like a queen
I would never starve for my needs
Your open heart would listen to me
And encourage me when I'm weak.
But most of all, you love Jesus!
Who came for us, to free us
And through His power you would lead us
And I'm thankful, for it is only through Him that there can be an 'us'
So, who knows what the future holds
I have an idea, but He knows
The same God who poured out fishes and loaves
Not worried because everything He touches turns to gold.

Side note:
I'm hoping to grow old with you
Maybe birth a kid or two
Love, laugh, cry together, us two
Just to name a few....

Seeking...

The last love that I had
Was the love of my life
And it hurt me so bad
When he couldn't do right
Fast forward a year
The stuff still hurts
But I'm done shedding the tears
He didn't live up to my worth
Now I'm out on the scene
Yeah I'm dating again
Met so many guys unclean
I'd rather be by myself, than to get hurt in the end
So now, I'm sitting and thinking
I might end up alone forever
And with this heart that is sinking
It's better than a pointless endeavor
I'm a hopeless romantic
I want a love that will last
Not another lunatic
That's just a repeat of my past
Who cares who you are
My heart can be as cold as a stone
If I can't have the best of you
Then I'd much rather be alone
I don't mean to be rude
But I keep my standards high
Not looking for just another dude
If it's not for me, I'll say good-bye
Because I've already been through hell
And I'm only looking for truth
And I refuse to settle
If you ain't for me, I ain't for you.

A Man's Pursuit

Can't you see who I am?
Don' you notice my worth?
Don't you know, I'm the greatest
Of my Father's female births?
He made me to shine
He made me unique
And if you noticed all of that
You would also know to pursue me.

I was not meant to chase
I was not meant to hover
Over some man who has other plans
Other than me, to discover
I was meant to be noticed
Not having to prove myself to you
I was made to fall deeply
But only if pursued.

I was made to stand out
Share my voice and cry my pain
I was made to receive love
And to give love that's not in vain
I was made to be a light
Amongst all things subdued
But my future can be much brighter
If only pursued by you.

The truth is, I could beg
But that's not living up to my worth
Plus I'm so much greater than that
Proven since the creation of earth
I was meant to be your's forever
Once your eyes laid on me from your view
Nothing will ever break our bond
But first, you must pursue.

Over the Struggle

The say
Behind every good man
There's a good woman
But what if I'm not as good as I seem?
Out here searching for something
That's only temporarily gratifying
My body feels good
While my soul is dying
I got you thinking I'm an angel
While I really can't stand you
You wouldn't know
Because you're watching from a different angle
I'm out here gasping for air
From my heart being strangled
I have this lust inside my heart
Can't you see it in my eyes?
Thought you recognized it form the start
Or are you also in disguise?
Afraid of being judged
By all of the good guys
Or all of the good girls
Who don't even know we're barely getting by
But thank God for the Savior
Yes, I call Him my Saver
Because He dragged me out
From all of my sinful labor
I was headed towards hell
And would still be now
If He wouldn't have given me the courage to rebel
I thank my God everyday
From freeing me from my sin
I no longer feel like I'm trapped in a jail cell
I have the freedom to take a stand
To show my children
And everybody else that I can
Be a good woman
That stands behind my only man...Jesus!   

Dear Future Husband

Dear future husband,
There's so much I want to say to you
So please listen in close
I'm excited about you
I've never been so in love
I know, it's hard to believe that I've never been close
You came just at the right time
I had almost given up
And thought you would never arrive
Over the years, it's been crazy
Went through hell and back
But I thank God that I survived
I've waited for you my entire life
And I can't believe it
You're so beautiful
You're everything I've ever imagined
You make me so happy
And my life is full
I want to spend every moment with you
Clenched hand-in-hand
And gazing in each other's eyes
My love in your heart
And your love in mine
With God making sure our love never dies
I want to lay on your chest
And hear your heartbeat
Until I fall asleep
Hating to imagine my life
Living a life without you
Because our love runs so deep
I miss you already
And I don't even know you yet
But I can't wait for that day
Going to the ends of the earth, just for you
And love you with all I am 
In every possible way...

Perfect First Date...

Nerve clenching moment 
With all of the anxiety built up
So excited, I have butterflies
And I can't get enough
Began prepping two hours ahead of time
All the pressure was tough
Left home feeling so beautiful
But now there's all the other stuff...

Then the nervous doubt creeps in
Like, what if I'm too tall?
What if he's not interested in what I have to say?
What if he doesn't think I'm pretty at all?
What if he doesn't show up?
And doesn't even call?
But then I take a deep breath and tell myself
"Just be you and don't stall.

Everything will be fine.
It's you he chose."
And then he entered into the restaurant
With a perfect long stem rose
My heart just melted
So joyful, I almost froze
But then he wrapped his arms around me with a hug
And I began to feel my toes.

The conversation was great
And he had the most gorgeous eyes
He was just so handsome
But not to my surprise
He was also so smart
And said things that were wise
This was going to be great
He gave all the right signs.

Three hours later
The first date nerves were gone
We said our goodbyes
And nothing had gone wrong
Now, hopeful for a second date
Hoping it won't be too long
But that night, I fell asleep with a smile on my face
Looking at my rose and listening to love songs...