Hate Mail

I loved you once
But that's no longer in existence
I wouldn't dare again
No matter how much you were persistent
I gave you every part of me
Right down to the bone
But you made a fool of me
For every time you left me alone
I want to give you a piece of my mind
But wouldn't know where to start
You did so many terrible things
That just crushed and killed my heart.
How could one person be so evil
I often wonder to myself
But then I gain some perspective
And pull my journal off the shelf.
How hard is it to love
When you have it so easy
You had a wife and two kids
But you still chose to be sleazy
You had a third without me
What? Were you going in for the kill?
But I forgave you, of course
And let you do what you willed
I must have been blind
So blind to see
That you didn't care at all
No, you didn't love me.
The way you spoke to me
The way you raised your hand to my face
I lost all respect for you
And yet, I chose to stay.
You embarrassed me in front of our boy
Humiliated me as a woman
You put us out of our house
And you call yourself a man
I dream of hurting you most days
Even wished you were dead
It was selfish of my heart to feel it
So of course, it wasn't said
Yet I have this underlying pain
That numbly mourns for you
Because you're wasting your life
Because you want to act like a fool.
You make it so hard to even like you
The way you are hurting our daughter and son
They hurt so bad, but they'll be alright
They will not be the only ones
To hurt and feel this kind of pain
Because you'll feel it also
When it's dark and you're all alone
When you hit your lowest low
And I hope you feel what you've put them through
They did not deserve it
Meaning a father who's a jerk and so damn selfish
Who embodies that much shit
I have to get this out my system
I have to let you go
But before you disappear
I want to let you know
You will be nothing greater
Because you stand in your own way
You will drown in your selfishness
Yes, there will be a day
You'll be disappointed and have regrets
That will stack up to the sky
You'll be so confused and lost
And will ask yourself why
Why am I so lonely?
Wy does my life feel like a jail?
And I will gladly send you this letter:
Your own personal hate mail.